Zombie Gandhi … coming soon to a stadium near you

Also she would like to be an Un-dead John Lennon, Martin Luther King Jr. and Jesus. Satellite Radio really is changing the world not just making Howard Stern richer . These insight into Madonna’s role models, past and future, are perhaps the best example to date of how Sirius Radio is getting us the hot stuff:

Madonna has in the past styled herself after Marilyn Monroe and Eva Pern, but they’re not the ones she hopes to emulate.

“I want to be like Gandhi and Martin Luther King and John Lennon - but I want to stay alive,” the singer said during a Valentine’s Day interview on Sirius Satellite Radio.

via People Magazine

In fact Madonna’s recent tour was a real clue to this future Blonde ambition. The requisite controversy was all about her appearance on a cross, a big disco ball cross, crucified -just like Jesus - but without the spear in the side, dead part. Which if you read above is just where she likes the story to change up a little.

Defending the scene which featured images AIDS orphans in Africa, she says: “Jesus’s message was to love your neighbor as yourself, and these are people in need. I hope that people got that message.

“Of course some people thought shes just being controversal she’s just getting on a cross to piss people off, but that wasn’t my intention at all”

In a further informative aside Mrs Richie talked up the gay thing –cause the kitchen sink wasn’t available:

“Gay men are perfect men for girls who are tough. They’re not threatened by strong women, and they’re usually very in touch with their feelings and pay attention to details. I’ve always had an affinity with gay men.”

So to recap: Madonna wants to be an undead, pro-gay Gandhi/Jesus with a little Lennon and Luther King thrown in. Also please stop AIDS.

Well at least she doesn’t want to make any more movies.

pics via spaceport, Drowned Madonna, and Madonnalicious.

Picture Note by Celebitchy: Here are pictures from Madonna’s new H&M campaign, because they didn’t learn that people don’t want to look like Madonna the first time.

 [Date: 16-Feb-07 ]

Zombie Gandhi … coming soon to a stadium near you

Also she would like to be an Un-dead John Lennon, Martin Luther King Jr. and Jesus. Satellite Radio really is changing the world not just making Howard Stern richer . These insight into Madonna’s role models, past and future, are perhaps the best example to date of how Sirius Radio is getting us the hot stuff:

Madonna has in the past styled herself after Marilyn Monroe and Eva Pern, but they’re not the ones she hopes to emulate.

“I want to be like Gandhi and Martin Luther King and John Lennon - but I want to stay alive,” the singer said during a Valentine’s Day interview on Sirius Satellite Radio.

via People Magazine

In fact Madonna’s recent tour was a real clue to this future Blonde ambition. The requisite controversy was all about her appearance on a cross, a big disco ball cross, crucified -just like Jesus - but without the spear in the side, dead part. Which if you read above is just where she likes the story to change up a little.

Defending the scene which featured images AIDS orphans in Africa, she says: “Jesus’s message was to love your neighbor as yourself, and these are people in need. I hope that people got that message.

“Of course some people thought shes just being controversal she’s just getting on a cross to piss people off, but that wasn’t my intention at all”

In a further informative aside Mrs Richie talked up the gay thing –cause the kitchen sink wasn’t available:

“Gay men are perfect men for girls who are tough. They’re not threatened by strong women, and they’re usually very in touch with their feelings and pay attention to details. I’ve always had an affinity with gay men.”

So to recap: Madonna wants to be an undead, pro-gay Gandhi/Jesus with a little Lennon and Luther King thrown in. Also please stop AIDS.

Well at least she doesn’t want to make any more movies.

pics via spaceport, Drowned Madonna, and Madonnalicious.

Picture Note by Celebitchy: Here are pictures from Madonna’s new H&M campaign, because they didn’t learn that people don’t want to look like Madonna the first time.

 [Date: 16-Feb-07 ]

Mad About the Guy

The evil 3am Girls over at the Mirror report some atypically happily married news about Madonna and Guy Ritchie

MADONNA proved there’s only one Guy for her - as she cuddled up to her husband at last night’s premiere of her new movie.

The pop queen made the film, Arthur and the Invisibles, real family viewing by taking along her clan.
Madge, 48, showed she was truly, madly, deeply hooked on Guy, 38, as she clutched his arm as they held hands outside the West End gala.

Daughter Lourdes, 10, and son Rocco, six, grabbed hold of Dad’s other arm. But adopted 15-month-old David Banda was left snoozing at home. When we inquired about him, Madge gushed: “He’s great, wonderful. Thank you so much for asking.”

They must have been really beaming that solid couple vibe because the actual evidence is rather flimsy a bit of hand holding and a bit of cuddling on the red (actually green) carpet at a premiere. Surely the weather outside in January in London would induce cuddling in all but the most hostile of couples. As anyone can see although Madonna’s had all the kids Guy’s put on all the weight - you know what they say — big boys keep you warm in the winter and give you shade in the summertime.

Should make him useful at pretty much any movie premiere anywhere well, sadly excluding premieres of his own movies. If there are going to be anymore of those . Hmm no wonder he’s packed on the pounds. Career death can make Ben & Jerry any formerly fit boys best friends you can’t cuddle up to them on the red carpet, but you can late, late at night, in your mansion, in a dark corner as you silently weep into your pint of Chunky Monkey mumbling “Swept Away WHY Why why …

Pictures from Love Fashion Rock and Drowned Madonna.

 [Date: 26-Jan-07 ]

Last night on David Letterman, Dave brought up the issue of stars without their panties and reminded Madonna that she gave him a pair of her panties once and he said he still has them. Madonna said “maybe you could send them to Britney.”

She said she’s “cut off from a lot of these stories” since she lives in England and apparently doesn’t watch TV, read a newspaper or use the Internet. She said she came to NY and the first thing she heard “was about everyone not wearing their underpants.”

And here’s a clip from Madonna’s famous 1996 appearance on Letterman, she says the f word 13 times and it’s not censored so it’s NSFW. She may diss Britney now, but she was just as bad in her own way. She’s smoking a cigar and accuses Dave of being obsessed with her:

Madonna recently said that she and Britney “just drifted apart” and said she never saw her again after their famous kiss at the VMAs, which made it sound like a one night stand. There’s speculation that Britney’s very public diss of Madonna’s Kaballah cult has more to do with their lapsed friendship than Britney’s fall from grace. It looks to me like Madonna is just bringing up Britney’s name to get headlines, and it seems to be working for her.

Madonna’s face looks a little different somehow and people are speculating that she’s had some work done recently.

Madonna’s most recent Letterman video is courtesy of TMZ.

 [Date: 12-Jan-07 ]

Mad About the Guy

The evil 3am Girls over at the Mirror report some atypically happily married news about Madonna and Guy Ritchie

MADONNA proved there’s only one Guy for her - as she cuddled up to her husband at last night’s premiere of her new movie.

The pop queen made the film, Arthur and the Invisibles, real family viewing by taking along her clan.
Madge, 48, showed she was truly, madly, deeply hooked on Guy, 38, as she clutched his arm as they held hands outside the West End gala.

Daughter Lourdes, 10, and son Rocco, six, grabbed hold of Dad’s other arm. But adopted 15-month-old David Banda was left snoozing at home. When we inquired about him, Madge gushed: “He’s great, wonderful. Thank you so much for asking.”

They must have been really beaming that solid couple vibe because the actual evidence is rather flimsy a bit of hand holding and a bit of cuddling on the red (actually green) carpet at a premiere. Surely the weather outside in January in London would induce cuddling in all but the most hostile of couples. As anyone can see although Madonna’s had all the kids Guy’s put on all the weight - you know what they say — big boys keep you warm in the winter and give you shade in the summertime.

Should make him useful at pretty much any movie premiere anywhere well, sadly excluding premieres of his own movies. If there are going to be anymore of those . Hmm no wonder he’s packed on the pounds. Career death can make Ben & Jerry any formerly fit boys best friends you can’t cuddle up to them on the red carpet, but you can late, late at night, in your mansion, in a dark corner as you silently weep into your pint of Chunky Monkey mumbling “Swept Away WHY Why why …

Pictures from Love Fashion Rock and Drowned Madonna.

 [Date: 27-Jan-07 ]

Oh look - a guy who helped Madonna’s semi-illegal adoption go through is having his college tuition bankrolled by the publicity hound:

Madonna is reportedly paying the university tuition fees of a Malawian government official whose colleagues aided her in adopting baby David Banda last year. The singer is sponsoring civil servant Willard Manjolo at Swansea University in Wales, where he is studying for a degree in social work, writes British newspaper the Daily Mirror.

Madonna agreed to fund his studies in June, four months before she brought the one-year-old from Malawi to the UK - leading to speculation Manjolo could have used his position to influence the adoption process.

However, the 40-year-old dismisses the suggestion. He says, “The child is being given an opportunity.”

[via Socialite’s Life]

Yeah, that’s not a bribe or anything, to pay some guy’s tuition who can smooth your adoption process. Angelina would never do that.

Meanwhile Madonna is putting out another album this year, which will be a mix of genres and a blatant attempt to remain relevant.

Header picture of article in the Daily Telegraph from Drowned Madonna.

 [Date: 09-Jan-07 ]

Last night on David Letterman, Dave brought up the issue of stars without their panties and reminded Madonna that she gave him a pair of her panties once and he said he still has them. Madonna said “maybe you could send them to Britney.”

She said she’s “cut off from a lot of these stories” since she lives in England and apparently doesn’t watch TV, read a newspaper or use the Internet. She said she came to NY and the first thing she heard “was about everyone not wearing their underpants.”

And here’s a clip from Madonna’s famous 1996 appearance on Letterman, she says the f word 13 times and it’s not censored so it’s NSFW. She may diss Britney now, but she was just as bad in her own way. She’s smoking a cigar and accuses Dave of being obsessed with her:

Madonna recently said that she and Britney “just drifted apart” and said she never saw her again after their famous kiss at the VMAs, which made it sound like a one night stand. There’s speculation that Britney’s very public diss of Madonna’s Kaballah cult has more to do with their lapsed friendship than Britney’s fall from grace. It looks to me like Madonna is just bringing up Britney’s name to get headlines, and it seems to be working for her.

Madonna’s face looks a little different somehow and people are speculating that she’s had some work done recently.

Madonna’s most recent Letterman video is courtesy of TMZ.

 [Date: 13-Jan-07 ]

Oh look - a guy who helped Madonna’s semi-illegal adoption go through is having his college tuition bankrolled by the publicity hound:

Madonna is reportedly paying the university tuition fees of a Malawian government official whose colleagues aided her in adopting baby David Banda last year. The singer is sponsoring civil servant Willard Manjolo at Swansea University in Wales, where he is studying for a degree in social work, writes British newspaper the Daily Mirror.

Madonna agreed to fund his studies in June, four months before she brought the one-year-old from Malawi to the UK - leading to speculation Manjolo could have used his position to influence the adoption process.

However, the 40-year-old dismisses the suggestion. He says, “The child is being given an opportunity.”

[via Socialite’s Life]

Yeah, that’s not a bribe or anything, to pay some guy’s tuition who can smooth your adoption process. Angelina would never do that.

Meanwhile Madonna is putting out another album this year, which will be a mix of genres and a blatant attempt to remain relevant.

Header picture of article in the Daily Telegraph from Drowned Madonna.

 [Date: 10-Jan-07 ]

Brad and Angelina are not going to get married in a fairytale wedding this Christmas in South Africa, their rep says. We called bullshit on the story on Friday because the invited guests were said to be Oprah and Madonna. Whoever made that up wasn’t familiar enough with the famous couple to know that Madonna is on their shit list and would never be invited to a wedding.

Brad, Angelina and their cuties are in New York now after Angelina surprised Brad with a trip to architectural great Frank Llloyd Wright’s famous home Fallingwater in Pennslyvania. The staff at the renowned landmark praised Brad and Angelina for being such down to earth guests. Brad was overheard excitedly explaining architectural principles to Angelina. He was said to be extremely knowledgable and interested in the subject.

Angelina even wore a pair of one the staff member’s shoes when her elegant high heels weren’t suitable for walking up the snowy steps to the overlook of the home.

Now their rep is denying the wedding rumors that no one believed anyway.

Brad Pitt’s rep denied late Friday that the actor is planning to wed Angelina Jolie in Johannesburg. “It’s all made up,” the rep told Us Weekly.

A tabloid reported this week that the couple would wed in South Africa in a simple and elegant ceremony with African music. Guests attending, according to the report, included Oprah Winfrey. “Oprah would not be invited to their wedding. They are not that close,” a source close to the couple says.

Pitt, 42, and Jolie, 31, have three children, six-month-old Shiloh Nouvel, Maddox, 4, and Zahara, 1. The couple is currently in New York to promote her new movie, The Good Shepherd; they have been together since early 2005.

I wish they would get a myspace and do some Blackberry blogging so we could be privy to their unedited thoughts about all the crap the media reports about them.

Pictures from Splash News Online.

 [Date: 10-Dec-06 ]

I’m not really buying this news, because The Mirror makes a lot of shit up based on paparazzi pictures. It’s likely that someone saw some pictures of Madge and Guy looking unhappy after leaving a restaurant and invented this dialogue. Maybe it’s true as it’s possible that another diner or one of the staff overheard this. The fact that they lead with how they looked afterwards kind of tips me off that they’re using the photos to make up this story.

Madonna and Guy are said to have fought loudly in a restaurant over how controlling Madonna is:

The couple, just two weeks away from their sixth wedding anniversary, had a furious row at in front of stunned diners at exclusive Italian restaurant Cecconi’s in Mayfair.

Fellow guests were shocked to hear film director Guy, 38, attacking his wife for being so “controlling” all the time. Pop queen Madge, 48, meanwhile looked miffed as she sat at the table toying with her food.

The Lock, Stock … director later emerged stony faced from the London restaurant, while the superstar singer just looked drained.

A customer revealed: “The atmosphere between them was more than frosty. Guy was the one who was raising his voice the most - you couldn’t help but hear what he was saying.

“They were sitting in a corner booth and he was telling her that he’d had enough of her being so controlling all the time and that something had to give.

“Madonna tried to give it back to him, but he would just talk over her. She just seemed really embarrassed. They didn’t enjoy their meal and left after about an hour and a half.”

The row comes less than a week after it emerged the couple were planning to see marriage therapist Tricia Barnes as the cracks deepened in their six-year marriage.

Two months ago the couple were celebrating the adoption of Malawian orphan David Banda.

But despite their devotion to the toddler and children Lourdes, 10, and Rocco, six the marriage is said to have hit an all time low.

An insider said: “Guy and Madonna both dote on David, but her attitude can irritate and upset Guy.

“She drove the whole adoption thing and Guy was just left trailing in her slipstream just nodding and going along with things.

“The bottom line is that Guy sometimes feels he’s not allowed to have an opinion.”

There was a rumor that Madonna wanted another Malawian infant right away and was eyeing a one and a half year-old girl named Jessica. Another couple was said to be in the process of adopting her and was worried that Madonna would snatch her first. That seems to have been put on hold, and it was said that Guy told Madonna that he didn’t support another adoption so soon after they took little Davie home.

Given Madonna’s personality, it’s not that much of a stretch to assume these two are fighting, but I doubt that The Mirror has any insider information in this case. I’ve caught them making up stories based on pictures before, and they’re not that reliable of a source. (What gossip rag is) They also say that Madonna and Guy left after an hour and a half, which is just about the amount of time it usually takes to have dinner. Why would they add that detail unless they don’t have much else to use for the supposed eyewitness quote

Madonna is said to have accessorized her evilness by wearing a coat made of 60 widdle chinchillas that evening. She is also working on a new fashion line with H&M called M by Madonna. Her H&M tracksuits failed to sell, so the Swedish retail chain is giving her another chance.

Header picture from swaggyp’s Flickr. Inset image from SkyNews.

Update: Thanks to Splash News for the new header image of Madonna and Guy on the evening in question. Here’s the fug picture of Madonna that I used for the header image earlier:

 [Date: 08-Dec-06 ]